Special guest Conan O’Brien & Afghan roller blade gangs.

February 6, 2010

I had a strange dream last night:

My friend Mike and i were in northern NJ going to the post office to get ready for my big move back east. We entered an industrial complex park with tall, unlabeled buildings and entered the one we figured was the post office. It wasn’t. 

I took in the scene before me, hundreds of individuals seated in fold-out chairs, paying close attention to the speaker up front. We made our way up an aisle and took our seats. The speaker was Conan O’Brien. He was doing his last show/relaxed comedy routine, a “getting to know the fans” event.

I looked behind me and noticed that many of the people present were people i had gone to middle school with. They wouldn’t look at me until i looked away, though. When i turned back around, Conan was trying to get my attention. He and i bantered back and forth for a few minutes, causing everyone to laugh uproariously.

After some time, everybody left; Mike and i exited the building and i noticed we were no longer in the same place. We were in some city by an extensive cave network in Afghanistan. It was gorgeous outside. We also no longer had shoes on at this point–we were wearing roller blades. My ma and brother were at the top of the hill ahead of us so we took off, though, to be able to roller blade on the sand, i furiously sprayed clorox bleach on it to harden it for us.

At the top of the hill, in a marketplace area, Mike and i told the two of them about the show and how we accidentally stumbled upon it, upsetting my brother because he wished he had gone with us. I got up and skated around the marketplace as fast as i could (approx 65 mph) until i gt to the fringes of the marketplace.

I came across 3 other groups of roller bladers-all of them color coded and the white team was trying to recruit my brother. I showed of my skills to all of the groups but nobody could see me. Not giving a shit and realizing that meant i could do as i wish without repercussions, i skat (made-up past tense of skate) through everybody, doing all kinds of Matrix-type moves.

I skat (made up past tense of skate) down some hills to see what the turf was like for the red and blue gangs, noticing a lot of shot-down plane’s and choppers in those areas. I got bored after a little bit and went back up to where my brother was. The other colors were there now. The blue gang was primarily made up of black men in their 40’s with really bushy beards and deep voices. Awesome. The reds were white males and females in their 30’s. Not impressed. The white gang consisted of mostly Hispanic men and women but they were all built well–very solid. My brother joined their team. I skated toward them i could hear the wind roar and plowed right through the group of them, backwards and i finally got their attention and they recruited me as well. Woke up.

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